How to help someone with ARFID

There are ways to support people with avoidant restrictive food intake disorder, commonly referred to as ARFID. It might feel overwhelming sometimes, but we’re here to help. Check out our tips for practical and emotional support.

What is ARFID? What causes it?

ARFID is an eating disorder where someone avoids certain foods or types of food, restricts the amount of food they eat, or both. It’s usually based in one or a combination of:

• Sensory-based avoidance
• Concern about the consequences of eating
• Low interest in eating

Is it ARFID or ‘just’ picky eating?

Lots of children go through a picky eating phase. Over time, most people add more foods into their diet, but what if someone doesn’t? When does it become ARFID? There are two key signs to look out for:

• If they can’t eat enough of a wide-enough range of foods to meet their nutritional needs. This might mean they fail to gain or maintain their weight as expected, or they don’t enter puberty on time. It might also mean they need to be prescribed nutritional supplements
• There is a significant impact on their lifestyle. This might mean they can’t eat out, for example. Or that they can’t participate in social events like parties, or even holidays

It’s important to remember that every person with ARFID is different. There’s no ‘normal’ when it comes to weight or body image and the condition.

Getting started

If you’re worried about a loved one, it can be hard to know where to start. You might be worried that by talking about it you’ll make it worse, or that you’ll say the wrong thing. But there are things you can do to help.

• Don’t force them to try new foods. It’s important to remember that although you might feel frustrated, and it might not make sense to you, it’s very real for them. Try to have open conversations about how your loved one is feeling and the difficulties they’re experiencing to move forwards
• Let them know they can trust you. Don’t try and trick them into eating more, or different food. This might make them feel even more anxious and fearful around food and mean they find it hard to talk about their worries
• Try to be patient and gentle with them. It can be really tough to support someone living with ARFID. Staying calm and kind can be a challenge. But for them, food is probably very scary

Practical tips

Here are some ideas for helping you and your loved one live well.

• Keep mealtimes stress-free. Don’t comment on their eating, or watch what they eat. Let them eat their preferred foods and consider ways of slowly incorporating less preferred foods. Some people with ARFID find it easier to eat if they have a distraction, or having conversations during meals not related to food.
• Ask them what they think might help. Encouraging your child to think about what might help them allows them to be curious about new foods they might try, or ways to make eating easier
• Remember that recovery is a process. It can take time to get better from ARFID, but try to remember that it is possible

Looking after yourself

• Your mental health is important too. It might feel like your wellbeing has to take a back-seat, but it’s important to look after yourself. Try and take time out every day to relax and recharge
• Get support. Different people prefer different types of support. If you haven’t already, why not join POD, our e-learning platform and community for carers, and find what works for you
• Don’t blame yourself. It can be easy to think your loved one has ARFID because of something you did, or to worry that you’re not doing enough to help.