Bryony’s story: how finding safe community spaces transformed her recovery journey

Bryony, a project officer from Scotland, developed bulimia when she was just 14. Her early experiences of community were largely negative: she was being severely bullied at school, some of her family members idealised thinness and she was a part of online communities which encouraged harmful eating disorder behaviours.

She says all of this left her feeling “ostracised’, but eventually she was able to find communities who supported her through her illness. For her, the most important of these communities was her friendship group, who “truly understood me and how I felt”.

“They never judged me when I told them what was happening, I was only met with kindness and love.”

She says that without the support of her friends, she wouldn’t have sought help for her eating disorder – adding that they made her “feel safe in opening up and encouraged me to seek support.”

She’s been recovered for several years now, but they’re still always there when she needs them.

In addition, she also found community at university through charity Place2Be’s counselling service for student teachers. Her counsellor helped her realise she had issues with perfectionism and her self-worth. “She helped me get better clarity over where these behaviours had come from and how to navigate through difficult emotions without engaging in eating disorder behaviours.”

Finally, Bryony found more positive examples of community through hobby groups. She does aerial hoop, plays games like Dungeons and Dragons, wild swims and goes to the gym. “Having hobbies and safe community spaces has also helped me in having things to look forward to and things to distract me on days I’m having a lot of negative feelings towards myself and my body.” She adds that they “have kept me grounded and less isolated, which has had a massive positive impact on my mental health.”

Finding safe, healthy communities has been transformative for Bryony. She wants anyone who feels how she did when she was ill to know they shouldn’t be afraid to reach out for help. “Keeping what you’re experiencing bottled inside your head is incredibly isolating, and I wish I’d sought support years before I did. I feel if I’d got support younger, I would look back at my adolescence with more fondness.”

She also encourages people to pick up hobbies as she did, even if it feels scary. “I was terrified to go to an aerial hoop class or join a friend for a gym session for the first time, but I’m so grateful I did those things to help me grow and think less about my body. Go out, challenge yourself to try new things and never stop yourself reaching out for help when you need it.”